Will a Snow Fort Work?

The Environment Agency wants us to build snowmen, to slow the melting rate and prevent flooding.  How many snowmen make a difference?  Millions?  Do they provide training courses?  Will the government accept liability for snowman-induced heart attacks?  Was the Health and Safety Executive consulted?  These are important questions. 🙂

We built snow forts and had a snowball fight, does that count?  Emilie captured the boys’ fort and I got their flag, so we won.  Everything we allowed after that was just to salvage their egos, after being defeated by their little sister and their old dad.  (Other descriptions of these events are propaganda, and should be ignored. :))

There’s still a LOT of snow.  We could build a snow army.

Government:  trying to turn a fun activity into a burdensome duty.  Do they have any idea how long it takes to make that many snowmen?  What is the economic impact of people taking time off work to build snowmen?  If everyone uses a carrot for a snowman nose, there’s going to be a carrot shortage. 🙂

Did they think this through?  What if the spokesman goes on disability for depression if people laugh at his statement?  Will he sue the government?  Will Labour demand an inquiry?  Who will point out the lack of snowman diversity in the UK?  Studies will be done on the optimum snowman density.  This will rumble on for a while.  Stay tuned.

About Jon Gleason

Former Pastor of Free Baptist Church of Glenrothes
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15 Responses to Will a Snow Fort Work?

  1. christophersmale says:

    Yeah. I predict a hosepipe ban before summertime.

  2. Andrew says:

    Good old GB, a week of snow causes chaos,trauma and major stress and don’t get me started on 4×4 drivers who think they can still fast on snow and ice and are immune from skidding. LOL.

    • Jon Gleason says:

      Yes, but what we really want to know is if you’ve built your snowman yet. Everyone needs to pitch in. 🙂

      It’s not just fast drivers. The snow started again this morning. So there was some on our street. Out past the roundabout, there was snow on the road but the driving lane was bare. So I’m stuck behind someone who takes 7 minutes to go a mile — on wet but bare tarmac. I’m glad he was careful, but wow…. 🙂

  3. Andrew says:

    Yes indeed, we have built two snowmen, had i known it was going to save us from flooding we would have built three. 🙂 I know it’s wrong but i suffer from competitive Dad syndrome so i just had to build a bigger one than the kids so that should help with flooding even more.

  4. Jon Gleason says:

    Yesterday afternoon, we took a quick run down to the bank. It took us more than two hours to drive the three miles back home. I wished I’d walked.

  5. I received a defensive propaganda email. Now I don’t know whose version to believe. 😀

    • Michael says:

      Since their fort is now totally destroyed and the rubble is incorporated into our fort, I think it’s pretty clear who won.

    • Jon Gleason says:

      Nick, let me explain this to you. The person who wrote you that email? He thinks Arsenal is the best football team on the planet. Yes, that Arsenal. The one that is currently sixth in the English league. Best on the planet. I’m sure he believes the things he says and writes, but, well, I’m not sure I have to say anything more.

      As to Michael, what he means is that our old fort is totally destroyed and incorporated into our new fort, the one we captured from them. And we were smart enough to have them do the work, too. You know, the defeated are the slaves of the victors, and all that.

  6. The Infamous (and Great) Aunti K / Beloved younger sister Karen who knows Jon always started it says:

    Michael – You can still respect your dad and totally trounce him. Just more difficult when you are on his blog – a virtual environment of his truth… Next time document (pictures & video), than “anonymous” his blog and put the truth up for all to see! Unless it was his version of truth…. 😉

    • Jon Gleason says:

      Interesting comment. Have I met you somewhere sometime? The name sounds vaguely familiar, but it’s clear you don’t know me well. 😛

      How could someone take pictures or video of himself getting splattered with snowballs, anyway?

  7. The Infamous (and Great) Aunti K / Beloved younger sister Karen who knows Jon always started it says:


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