A friend, talking about how people describe their divorces, once told me, “All I ever meet are the innocent parties of divorce.”
How often, in describing conflict (divorce or otherwise), do we expound (and perhaps expand) on the other person’s faults, and completely neglect our own?
Proverbs 18:17
He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.
Mind Renewers 
Everyone is innocent, and everyone seems to WANT to be angry and miserable. How we relate to each other is about the same Inside the Church and Outside. VERY sad. God says put off anger, bitterness, evil speaking, and yet we cling to it with all our might. We as God’s people truly need to “humble ourselves, pray, seek His face, and YES Turn from our wicked ways”
Patrick, my brother, your first sentence said so much. The more “innocent” we are, the more we tend to be angry and miserable.
So, I remembered the source of the quote in the original post, it was my friend Stuart Graydon. He sent me an email, which I thought was valuable, and he said I could post it:
Patrick is insightful. Being defensive and pointing fingers is a natural “reflex” – we don’t think about it, we do it instinctively. (You don’t have to teach a child to do this, they already know how.) To me it is proof that 1) we are sons of Adam, who immediately did this after the fall and 2) that our nature is hostile to God, who is so ready to forgive us and make peace. No wonder He says “Come, let us reason together …” . 1 John 1:8-10 says it all.